In a postmodern world where consumerism is a propelling force behind many secular decisions, I began my journey towards seminary with unintentional perspective as a result of my environment. Although this had been influenced by my relationship with Christ, and a very long list (which may be unnecessary to write) of external and internal influences, my world view was quite different than it is today. It is remarkable how Christ can alter perspective in six months. I attempted to enter a program with subconscious undercurrents of consumerism, not wanting to release my Youth Ministry position or the time I get with my children; not wanting to leave my home or be inconvenienced. I wanted to take distance courses, keep my life exactly the same and fit God into what I thought we should do with this call. Yet, I was being called to be obedient; and Just as God called Abram in Genesis 12, I was being asked once again to leave my home and my people to go where God wanted me during this season. So, in obedience, my children and I left Dallas and my husband behind, and moved to Nashotah House Theological Seminary in Wisconsin. God removed any opportunity for excuse, any lingering desire for a consumeristic attitude and instead filled our lives with the overflowing presence of his faithfulness.

Within a week I was thrust into orientation and found myself dressed in black cassock with my classmates, staring up at a 1-ton bell on Nashotah’s campus. We began our ‘ringing instruction’ on the bell lovingly known as Michael and I watched one by one as my much larger, stronger and heavier peers pulled the heavy rope, each successfully halting the bell at the end of the Angelus. As I waited my turn, I steeled my (naturally strong-willed) resolve and refused to acknowledge my physical disadvantage and probable inability to use my weight to stop the bell as required. And as I used my 100lbs of dead weight to hold that rope stationary, I flew into the air and the bell ceased to sound. Just as we read in 2 Timothy, I believe that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind. I have every intention of grabbing the rope that the Lord has extended, knowing my feet may leave the ground at times and trusting that if I hold onto that cord of faith, he will provide everything I need to accomplish the tasks he has laid before me.

Seminary was going to happen His way, in His time – I just needed to give him room and hold on. And God was very clear, my husband was to stay in Dallas. We remained obedient and prayerful and through a series of truly unbelievable circumstances, my husband’s company transferred him up to Wisconsin just before the holidays, once again magnifying HIS faithfulness parallel to our obedience.

The transition to Nashotah House has not been easy or painless, but has depended our faith walk and nourished our marriage and family. This initial (and remarkably quick) semester has taught me many things, some more valuable than others. I have learned of the constant strength of a wood-rich 19^thcentury chapel that holds her faithful students shoulder-to-shoulder twice daily, hearing the joy and grief of our hearts pointed at Christ. In the midst of readings and spiritual practice, Ascetical Theology taught us what it means to truly give room for the Holy Spirit. Church Music equipped us to not only understand and communicate effectively with future musicians we may encounter in our vocations, but also copyright laws and historical foundations that would be of great value to the rector of a parish. The Nashotah faculty loves deeply and cares twice as much; they will equip you if you give them room to do so. I have seen the reflection of Christ through support against misogyny, another in tutoring me as long as necessary to reach success, and in hospitality time and time again. And the list could go on… The relationships made available for students between faculty and local clergy have provided a network of support and training that is proactively shaping the future of the church and our vocation. The formation I have personally received in this brief time has both equipped and permitted my ability to lead morning prayer at two local parishes in the absence of their rectors. It is like watching the scaffolding being placed around a construction site knowing something will be built, but with only a drawing in hand and trust placed in the builder.

My heart has so deeply responded to the veins of Benedictine and Cistercian spirituality that weave through the life of this community. Our regular pattern of walking, working, praying and studying side by side as we struggle against change and icy roads and celebrating the methodical rhythms found in everyday life. To some, this place is perhaps where they will begin or complete a season of their education. To others Nashotah may be the place they find great struggle or great freedom in Christ. I cannot say with certainty what this Seminary will come to mean for me and my family over the years, but I do know this: God is faithful and we will follow him to the ends of the earth. Even to Nashotah.

My family and I understand the immense magnitude of Christ’s blessing in our life; we would carry great regret had we refused this opportunity. For now, we will hold fast to the bell rope and trust in him.

 

Audrey Sutton

January 4^th, 2018

Nashotah House Theological Seminary, class of 2021