The Importance of Hello and Goodbye
Impressions from the first four days on the Camino:
It is easy to move quickly from exchanging names to things that are close to the heart. Who are you, and where are you from, and why are you here on the Camino? This last question occasionally—but only occasionally—gets a cynical answer. “You mean, why have I voluntarily traveled a zillion miles to lug around a pack that is too heavy and sleep in a crowded room with a bunch of snoring people, getting blisters on my feet and aches in my legs and shoulders?” But that cynical answer is a decoy. We are all here because of something in our heart that said, “I need to walk.”
Moving to the heart means we learn precious things about other people in a short time, but it is also the case on the Camino that, in a short time, we move on. Walking through a suburb on the way into Pamplona, I heard someone call out my name. On the sidewalk a group of pilgrims were eating lunch or having snacks or a midday drink. We talked awhile, then some took off; others took their place. Amidst lighter chatter serious things were shared—new jobs, relationships, career hopes. They ask me, and I say I wonder what God has for me to do in this new decade of life. One of them says this is the first time he’s heard religion mentioned on the Camino, which surprises him. But it’s there in the background, the God question, which is the Camino question.
Which is to say: The question of why someone is on the Camino is the question of God’s relationship to that person’s life. Of course, they may not know that is the question!
Although I write this on only the fourth day, it is already clear that the Camino is also about saying goodbye. Whenever we part from talking with one another, we don’t know when, or even if, we will meet again. If two pilgrims do meet again, then it is quite a surprise, and you can see in this delight of re-meeting, if you want, that every meeting up with someone is a new gift, a gift in a way unexpected.
There was one fellow: I had a good talk with him for about an hour as we walked. He is a retired organic farmer. We talked about many things; I liked his wit, and also the way he would laugh bemusedly at himself. We stopped for coffee at a village, where many other pilgrims were. I said goodbye and went on. Later that day, he entered the same albergue I was staying at. It was an unexpected joy. And it gave me a chance to try to say a more adequate goodbye the next morning.
I have an old priest friend who never fails, at the end of a phone call, to express his affection. He will do that because, as he says, you never know whether there will be another chance to say it.
Hello’s are important, for God is always wanting to connect us with one another and, in our connections, to help us see the deep and true and wonderful things of human life. Goodbye’s are also important, because you never know if you will meet again on the Camino of life.
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Upcoming Good Books & Good Talk seminar: We’ll discuss Tolstoy’s story, “The Death of Ivan Ilych,” which can be found in many collections of his stories (but only sometimes is mentioned in the title). Any translation is fine for the seminar. This will be at St. Matthew’s Cathedral in Dallas at 5 p.m. on Sunday, June 14. Anyone who reads the story is invited to join the conversation.