Diary of a Theologian

The Confessions Begin

This is the title Augustine (354–430) gave to the book: Confessions. No one had ever written such a book before. The first half of it is going to be the story of his life up to his baptism which occurred, at age 33, when he finally became a Christian. It is not a story simply told: it is him writing to God about all this. He writes to God while letting us overhear what he has to say.

He starts with God, speaking to God about God, confessing that You are great, Lord, and highly to be praised. God is great and worthy to be praised (among other reasons) for making everything that exists. “Man, a little piece of your creation, desires to praise you.” That we desire to praise God is the first thing to say about us.

Yet right here, in the most basic thing about us humans, there is a problem. Do we need to know God before we can praise him? If we don’t know God, then we might make a mistake and call upon, and praise, the wrong thing. But how are we going to know God? God isn’t a thing in the world that we can pick up and handle. In fact, it seems the only way a person can begin to know God is through praising him. Yet praising him requires that we already have faith in him!What a mess we are in! We need to know God in order to praise him (and not something else); but we can’t know him without first praising him. All this Augustine puts in his first few sentences. But then he releases the tension by saying that it just is the case that he longs to praise God and that God has given him faith. He summarizes the point with a very short sentence, a famous sentence, a sentence that encapsulates a fundamental truth about all of us human beings: Our hearts are restless till they rest in thee.

The rest of the Confessions shows forth the truth of that sentence. And, dear reader, our entire life shows it forth also. You and I, we have restless hearts, and the only place our hearts will find their true rest is in God himself.

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 Out & About: This Sunday, October 5, I am to preach at St. James’ Church in Texarkana at the 8 and 10 a.m. services. I will also speak between the services on caregiving. If you live in the area, it would be great to meet you.

 On Sunday, October 19, I am to preach at St. Matthew’s Cathedral in Dallas, at 9 and 11:15 a.m., and at 10:20 or so, I will speak about Books I & II of Augustine’s Confessions (see below).

 At 5 p.m. (also on Oct. 19) the Good Books & Good Talk seminar meets to discuss Anthony Trollope’s Dr. Wortle’s School. This is a late treasure from 1891, a short book with a secret (revealed very early in the book) about possible bigamy, the cruelty of society, and the importance of matrimony. It also has many small delights of wit and ironic observation. One thinks that Trollope is the sort of author that only a culture thick with the Prayer Book could produce. Give yourself the pleasure of relishing Trollope.

 The Confessions of Saint Augustine. This book, after the Bible, is likely the most-read book in all of Christian history. Written about A.D. 390, it is a book that, until about a century ago, every educated person would have read it. It's not too late! I will be giving talks on the Confessions this fall, in Dallas, at St. Matthew’s Cathedral, Sunday, October 19, at 10:20 (on Books I & II). You are welcome to come whether you have read the chapters or not.

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 On the Web. The fifth “Pro Ecclesia” podcast is now online, with Lutheran professor David Luy as the guest. There is also a link to the lecture he gave at the last Pro Ecclesia conference. If you have an interest in theology and the church, this will be good food to chew on. https://www.pro-ecclesia.org/podcast/season1/episode5?mc_cid=b637eea72c&mc_eid=b1cd8293b9

Memory Issues

 I have not yet found myself standing in front of the stove and wondering what it does (though, for lack of use, one might think me rather ignorant of its function). But I have had occasions where I can’t remember a name or the title of a book. It is sometimes embarrassing, especially if you and I are talking about someone whom we’ve both known for years and yours truly keeps trying to recall the name.

    If you are a literate person, this is easier to hide. I remember my wife, Susan, as her brain disease grew, finding it hard to summon up ordinary words. There’s a beloved children’s book called Where the Sidewalk Ends. She was looking for the word “sidewalk,” but instead she said, “You know, where it ends.” I find myself doing similar verbal work-arounds, hoping that the name will return shortly. 

    Sometime in the last year a book was recommended: Why We Forget and How to Remember Better. Its subtitle is “The Science Behind Memory,” and the co-authors, Andrew Budson and Elizabeth Kensinger, are M.D. and Ph.D. respectively. They write with stories and illustrations in an engaging way, while not pretending to greater knowledge than is available. For of course we hardly understand how our brain functions.

    Yet one thing seems clear: Memory is not in just one place in the brain. There are different kinds of memories: pictures, sounds, words, events. There are also different sorts of memory: short-term, procedural, episodic, and semantic, for instance. These seem to be located in different places. What coordinates them all is the “central executive,” which is located in the prefrontal cortex (the frontmost part of the brain).

    I had known of the “executive function” being located there in that Susan’s tumor and subsequent treatments had been in part of it. I had learned that, due to her disease, she lacked the capacity to plan and carry out longer-term tasks. So it fell to me to fill in this lack in her—a humbling task, but no different in principle than when one spouse can no longer drive, so the other has to take care of all the transportation. We are always filling in for one another’s weaknesses.

    Those of us who like words, who write or preach, say, or who like reading blogs (dear reader, I’m looking at you): we tend to over-identify ourselves with our brain. But the truth is that your brain is not your mind or your soul. Your brain is an organ of your body, analogous to your legs or ears. We intellectuals need to remember that from time to time.

    So it is good for my humility and my humanity, I think, for me to have these memory issues. But since I am a stubborn sinner, let me tell you one other thing this book says about the executive function that is located in the prefrontal cortex. This cortex is located “in the frontmost part of the frontal lobe” of the brain. “It is well connected to the rest of the brain, enabling its ‘command and control’ functions. The prefrontal cortex takes up about 33% of the human brain, while making up only 4% of that of the cat, perhaps explaining why humans appear to have a wider repertoire of goal-directed activities than their feline companions.”

    Such a vivid illustration is hard to forget!

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    Out & About: Sunday, October 5, I am to preach at St. James’ Church in Texarkana, where the eucharists are at 8 and 10 a.m. I will also speak between the services on caregiving. If you live in the area, it would be great to meet you.

    On Sunday, October 19, I am to preach at St. Matthew’s Cathedral in Dallas, at 9 and 11:15 a.m., and at 10:20 or so, I will speak about Books I & II of Augustine’s Confessions (about which, more below).

    At 5 p.m. (also on Oct. 19) the Good Books & Good Talk meets to discuss Anthony Trollope’s Dr. Wortle’s School. This is a late treasure from 1891, a short book with a secret (revealed very early in the book) about possible bigamy, the cruelty of society, and the importance of matrimony. It also has many small delights of wit and ironic observation. One thinks that Trollope is the sort of author that only a culture thick with the Prayer Book could produce. Give yourself the pleasure of relishing Trollope.

    The Confessions of Saint Augustine. This book, after the Bible, is likely the most-read book in all of Christian history. Written about A.D. 390, it is, in its first half, Augustine’s recounting his life story to God, which he allows us to overhear. Until about a century ago, every educated person would have read it. Here is your chance to do so also. I will be giving talks on the Confessions this fall: at St. Matthew’s Cathedral, starting Sunday, October 19, at 10:25 (between Sunday services). The first class will cover Books I & II, which you might want to read in advance, but it is okay to attend without reading. (If you are wondering about a translation, I recommend Henry Chadwick’s in the Oxford World Classics series. But there are many and most are more than adequate.) The class will meet about 7 times between Oct. 19 and Dec. 21.

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    On the Web. I had a piece on coarseness of society—and resisting it—with a few thoughts about 1 Kings 12 (Rehoboam’s first words on becoming king after his father Solomon). You can find it here: https://humanlifereview.com/rejecting-public-and-private-coarseness/