Accident

    The car in front of her suddenly stopped. She ran into it; her car was totaled. She was glad not to be hurt more than she had been—bruises, confusion, perhaps other things; I think she had been hospitalized for a bit. How did it happen? “The driver in front of me dropped her cell phone and hit her brakes.”
    I didn’t have the heart to say it, but I thought: maybe you were driving too close?
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    There are things more important than parsing out fault, although that has its own importance. At least she was alive and, as far as I know, so is the other driver. Sometimes they aren’t.
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    You can imagine a scene. Two people in the car, angry with each other over a matter that’s been between them all afternoon. He’s a teenager, unwilling to do something; she’s the driver; they’re going back and forth, relentlessly. The thing that’s bothering them is not a big deal, it’s the usual sort of thing that gets into families.
    And then the unexpected car in the middle of the intersection; there is no time to react, no way to avoid the crash.
    Afterwards, they are so glad to be alive. The other driver isn’t.
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    You would not want your last words to someone in your family to be words of anger. But we never know: this might be our last conversation. So the Apostle writes, “Be angry, but do not sin.” He continues: “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” I take him to mean that there is a place for anger, but there is also a time to put it to bed.
    You can imagine parent and son leaving that accident with a new perspective on their disagreement. I can be angry with someone I love, but I need to be sure that person knows the love and not only the anger.
    In the meantime, may we drive carefully, courteously, and without phones.
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    Out & About. This Sunday, February 4, I am teaching on the Song of Songs at St. Matthew’s Cathedral, 5100 Ross Ave., Dallas. The class is at 9:30 a.m. The following Sunday I will be preaching at the 8 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. services there.

The Rev. Canon Victor Lee Austin. Ph.D., is the Theologian-in-Residence for the diocese and is the author of several books including, "Friendship: The Heart of Being Human" and "A Post-Covid Catechesis.: